As of Friday night, I am officially moved into the new house! My situation may be a bit different from most because hubby lived in the new house while I and our son only visited on the weekends. The house was two and a half hours away from my job. Speaking of job…
I am also officially unemployed! Don’t worry, that is actually a good thing in my case. I gave up a position I loved working in Cancer and Aids research. I got to be a part of some interesting and very cutting edge treatments. Not bragging, I just know that I will miss it. This is the first time since my 16th birthday I have not had a job. Seriously, I applied and got a job the day after my birthday. I worked 30+ hours all during college. The day I got laid off from a previous professional job, I had an offer within 24 hours. Again, not bragging, but this is a major change for me.
My son started kindergarten *twice*. Due to certain laws, he had to start in one state and then transfer to his new school. I, personally, found this really dumb since he was at his first school a total of 3 weeks. It took the enthusiasm out of my “first day of school” pictures. Blake also knew it was pointless to develop any friendships with the other kids. Oh, and the first school kept all of his school supplies so I had to buy two lists for him.
So how do I feel about all this? Well, I’m still processing. But I am learning as I go. And what have I learned so far?
1. I am learning new things about my family. I never paid attention to how my husband packs his lunch. I had no idea my son loves raw broccoli. There’s more but the point is that I am actually reveling in this aspect. It’s like a new discovery for me that I did not expect in this journey.
2. Time, what time?? One would think 8-10 hours of extra time during the day would be a godsend. Yet, the
former bachelor pad house is still not clean. My son needs a lunch box by tomorrow. Oh, and my parents will arrive in two days. I honestly thought I would be completely organized by the end of this week. I think I underestimated by a month or so. Maybe I am still underestimating.
3. I still have stress…a lot of it. When my colleagues learned of my decision, I almost always got one of two reactions. The first was, “You will be so bored.” Yeah right! Clearly, they don’t understand my busy-body nature. The second reaction was basically something about a permanent vacation. And those were just the ones that outright said it. Many more congratulated me but their immediate body language wasn’t exactly positive.
4. I have more goals than I can count on both hands. My last few weeks of work were so hectic that I did not have a plan in place for priorities and what I wanted. Sometimes I feel as if I am in one of those school exam dreams where I am naked. I started listing out my to-do list for goals. It was about 40 items!
5. Yep, I still have my independence. I still have my own thoughts, goals, and actions. While it has only been a week, I am very confident that I will always be me. Even with being the naturally ambitious chica that I am, I have never considered my career to be a large part of my identity. Sure, it was interesting and I excelled at it. But my job was something I did; it was not who I am.
6. My fears have not subsided. Hubby and I discussed for months about my fear he would see me as lower without a job. His reply was consistent. He told me he knew me too well to ever think I was lazy. He understood the stress we had put ourselves under for years with us both being high achievers. He also understands my desire to always support my family in whatever capacity I can. It simply became apparent that staying at home was the best for both of us. I still believe that today but I am open to whatever opportunity comes our way.
7. Laundry is harder than I remember. I haven’t done laundry in years. It was a job my husband took over within a year of us being married because we needed to split up the chores. Now, he apparently has to teach me because I already shrunk two shirts.
Above all, I am thankful for this time to watch my son grow and that my family is together once again.